What is 'Being Present'?
To start with, we could define what we mean by ‘being present’. I used to think it meant to be aware and focused on what was happening around me, rather than to be thinking about something else. But it turns out, that’s only part of the story.
The most important part of being present turns out to be developing an awareness of what is going on inside of us, without getting caught up in it and carried away. That internal acknowledgement of ‘what is happening inside of me’ frees us to respond more consciously and wisely, taking into account our reactions -- rather than being distracted by or unknowingly driven by our internal world of fear, hope, and reactivity.
You will find that if you can see more clearly what is happening in your own mind, you will naturally find yourself more present with what is happening around you. It seems like it would be the opposite – that it would make you more focused on yourself. But in practice, seeing our minds clearly frees up a lot of energy and attention that was previously diverted.
That’s why there is so much focus here on stories and storylines. They distract us from what is actually happening, both inside and outside of us – taking away our attention, and distorting what we’re viewing so that we can fit it into our framework.
As the Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron often says, some people think that being present is like sitting beside a river, listening to the birds sing, and imagine that it’s all very pleasant. But being present means being present with everything that’s here in this moment, moment by moment – a bird singing, a jealous thought, a pain in my knee, longing, a sweet smile, the shock of news about a death, a thought about finances, a feeling of irritation, a laugh in another room, overwhelming anxiety, a reassuring touch, shame, a child’s face, a dirty parking lot, wind in the trees, guilt, and on and on… (shame and guilt? who wants to be present with those?!?).
“Why do we have to return? Why, in fact, is it so necessary to be in the present moment? We must return to the present moment because it alone can bring us into contact with what’s real. And only by connecting with what’s real can we experience the satisfaction in life that all of us are looking for. “
Ezra Bayda, Being Zen