Groundlessness
“We aren’t told much about this state of being in-between, no longer able to get comfort from the outside (from our old ways of thinking and from our habitual ways of reacting) but not yet dwelling in a continual sense of equanimity and warmth. Anxiety, heartbreak and tenderness mark the in-between state. It’s the kind of place we usually want to avoid. The challenge is to stay in the middle rather than buy into the struggle and complaint. The challenge is to let it soften us rather than make us more rigid and afraid. Becoming intimate with the queasy feeling of being in the middle of nowhere only makes our hearts more tender. When we are brave enough to stay in the middle, compassion arises spontaneously. By not knowing, not hoping to know, and not acting like we know what’s happening, we begin to access our inner strength.”
Pema Chodron
As things begin to shift, as Pema says, sometimes we are unable to get comfort in the old ways – but new ways have not fully taken hold. We wonder if we will ever be comfortable again. It can feel like we made a mistake in setting out on this journey in the first place – we “horribilize” that the future will be an unbroken state of this unsettled feeling of ‘no place to stand’.
If we remember the old wisdom adage, “This too shall pass” is also true of this state, we can bear it with more equanimity, and learn what we can from it.
Pema Chodron
As things begin to shift, as Pema says, sometimes we are unable to get comfort in the old ways – but new ways have not fully taken hold. We wonder if we will ever be comfortable again. It can feel like we made a mistake in setting out on this journey in the first place – we “horribilize” that the future will be an unbroken state of this unsettled feeling of ‘no place to stand’.
If we remember the old wisdom adage, “This too shall pass” is also true of this state, we can bear it with more equanimity, and learn what we can from it.
