Exploration: Multiple Threads
Pick a time when you are feeling uneasy, anxious or overwhelmed. Give yourself ten or fifteen minutes, and sit down with a piece of paper and a pen. You can do this a couple of different ways:
1 – List every feeling you can locate that arises within you, no matter how contradictory or subtle or uncomfortable. For example, sometimes in the midst of a lot of chaos, I could find dozens of feelings all swirling around inside of me. You don’t need to think about the feelings or analyze them…just note them down if they seem to surface.
After you have written down the obvious feelings, it’s good to sit and just rest with what you’ve written to see if anything else comes up, more subtle feelings that are hidden behind the obvious ones.
One example of what the result of this exercise could look like:
Anxious, hopeful, proud, terrified, resigned, regretful, sad, curious, longing, guilty, embarrassed, happy, grateful, burdened…and so on….
2 – List every circumstance, event or thought pattern that is contributing to your current state, or might be. Again, give it some time to be sure you’ve dredged up everything that is floating around inside of you. You are not analyzing the circumstances or asking yourself why they affect you, you are just listing what surfaces that seems to be impacting you, however peripherally.
An example of what could come out of this exercise:
The possibility of promotion at work, Susan’s divorce, feeling squishy time-wise overall, my neighbour’s wedding, the dog’s health problems, the impact of the movie I just saw.
Overall, what we are trying to do in these explorations is allow what is inside of us to emerge more clearly, so that it can be ‘seen’. As you will notice, usually what is happening inside of us is more complex and multi-faceted than we had been noticing. There can be a sense of relief, even lightness, at directly relating with what is actually happening inside of us – even if all we do is name it.