Emotions and Stories
Question: When I notice I’m caught up in a story, what can I do in that moment? (2009)
It’s like there is a simple formula in my head -- which from experience, works well for me.
If there is a lot of thinking, there is not much being ‘right here’.
When I notice being caught up in thinking, I ask myself: “What feeling is underneath all the thinking – can I sense what that is?”
Underneath my need to think there is almost always a feeling I don’t want to fully be with (it could be fear, hope, shame, guilt, relief, anger, uncertainty, frustration, ambiguity, longing, grief, sadness, confusion, or many others)
So I think -- to avoid the feeling.
If I can name the feeling and say, ‘am I willing to have this feeling in my body?’ and I am willing, the thinking almost always reduces or subsides; then I am just here, with the feeling.
If I am not willing to have that feeling, the story starts up again, and that’s okay too. I just see it. We all have our limits about what we can 'be with' at any given moment.
If I can’t find the name of the feeling, then I can be willing to be with that confusion and uncertainty – or not willing…that’s also okay.